Fixing ads is what we breathe. It’s what we live for. Some people don’t understand that passion. We call them “normies.” Anyway, look I don’t blame business owners for giving it a try. The tools available now are so powerful that you can do a half decent job in 15-minutes of work… but the fact is that this approach leaves a hefty weight of leftover money on the table.

So will you grab it? Or will you settle for half decent?

Today, we're going to dissect and improve an ad for a pest control company targeting homeowners struggling with cockroaches. This article aims to give local business onwers a behind-the–scenes insight into provide into the kind of effort that goes into making an ad that not just works - but performs like a LEEAAANNNNN MEAAAANNNNN MACHIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIINE!

Let’s get into it…

The Original Ad

ARE YOU TIRED OF COCKROACHES IN YOUR HOME?

We make your home free from pests.

Don't waste money on expensive traps that never work and cheap poisons that could end up harming you and your loved ones.

Instead, let us remove them permanently. WE GUARANTEE YOU'LL NEVER SEE ANOTHER COCKROACH AGAIN.

SERVICES WE SPECIALIZE IN:

Cockroach elimination

Bedbug eradication

Mosquito control

Termite control

Rat elimination

Bat elimination

Snake elimination

House fly elimination

Flea elimination

Book now to claim your (free inspection + 6 months money-back guarantee), only available this week.

Send us a message on WhatsApp to schedule your fumigation appointment.

Click the link below.

(link leading to WhatsApp)

or

Call/Text/ (Phone number)

The Original Creative

Our Critique and Suggested Improvements

Headline Improvement

The original headline, "ARE YOU TIRED OF COCKROACHES IN YOUR HOME?" lacks the emotional punch needed to grab attention. Cockroaches evoke strong feelings, and "tired" doesn't quite capture the urgency.

New Headline:

"Have you spotted a cockroach in your home?"

This approach is direct and taps into the immediate concern of homeowners.

Body Copy Revision

Starting with a question might not always be the best strategy. A more direct approach gets directly to the heart of the matter, hooking attention in like a bear grabbing salmon from a river.

First Draft Rewrite Ad Copy

It’s never nice to spot a cockroach in your home… You work hard to keep your house clean and tidy, then out of nowhere, these nasty bugs “creep” up on you.

As the experts in cockroach removal and pest control, we quickly get rid of those nasty bugs so that you can live comfortably.

Common Mistakes People Make When They Discover Cockroaches:

1. Expensive traps - These only work in the short term and don’t fix the root of the problem.

2. Cheap poisons - These are also a short-term solution and are dangerous, especially if you have children.

3. Other pest control companies - Because honestly, we are the best… 

Here’s why:

• 6-Month Guarantee: In the unlikely event the pests resurface, we will come back and take care of it. No fuss. No hassle. We consider it our duty.

• Professional, Reliable, and On Time: If we say we’ll turn up on Saturday at 8 am, you can bet your bottom dollar we will.

• Free Inspection: We will provide a 21-point inspection, write it down on paper for you clearly, so you are best informed about what to do next.

Text us now and we will get back to you shortly.

Creative Suggestions

To make the ad more engaging, we recommend incorporating a simple and clear visual element.

Video Sales Letter (VSL) Mock Up Basic Script:

"Hi, I'm [Owner's Name], the owner of [Company Name]. If you’re sick of seeing cockroaches in your home, we can help. We offer fast, effective pest control services with a free cockroach inspection. Call us today and enjoy peace of mind with our professional and reliable service."

Visual Elements

Animation Idea: A simple drawing of a cockroach with an animated big red "X" drawn over it. This is straightforward but effectively communicates the message.

Text Improvements:

• Ensure all text colors are easy to read against the background.

• Avoid hyperbole such as "you’ll never see another cockroach again." Instead, use realistic promises like, "Free cockroach inspections available now. Call us today for our fastest response time."

Red List Creative Improvements

This aspect of the creative (shown below) is too text-heavy. Focus on the core offer to make it more appealing.

Simplified Creative Text:

"Get a free inspection today PLUS a 6-month guarantee. Book your free inspection now."

• Use clear, bold colors and ensure readability against the background.

By implementing these changes, the ad becomes more engaging, trustworthy, and effective in communicating the value of the services.

 Customers want to know you can handle their problem. You have to be direct and clear. 

If in doubt, keep your message simple, relatable, and visually clean for more clients, more growth and more revenue.

Does All This Sound Too Complicated?

Book a call and we’ll take the burden of marketing off your hands.